Under the guise of a superhero, Pete and his friends become efficient at punishing the bullies in their middle school. Too efficient.
After Bryant the Giant gives the new kid the ultimate wedgie, Pete creates a superhero to teach him a lesson. He recruits his friends, who use their years of honed RPGing skills and THE ART OF WAR to form the perfect plan. One dresses up in a bright yellow costume to distract Bryant and the crowd while the others create the illusion victory didn’t come from a bunch of kids but one superhero named “The Bee.”
When another student figures out how the Bee works and who’s behind it, she pleads with Pete and his friends to take down her cyber bully. They reluctantly agree and dress her up as the Bee to confront her nemesis. Despite Pete’s growing discomfort with the Bee, his friends each use the suit to deal justice without consulting the rest of the group.
Soon, every student fears the Bee could come for them next, and Pete decides it’s gone too far. But his friends’ vigilantism is only beginning, and defying them means becoming the biggest outcast the school has ever known.
THE SECRET POWERS OF THE BEE is a 47,000-word MG contemporary fiction.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
First 250 words:
But I don’t have any super powers, which is why I shuddered when I heard Bryant’s voice behind me, “C’mere. I wanna talk to ya.”
And I was having such a good day. School flew by. I’d never admit this out loud, but I actually had fun in one of my classes.
Having pulled my bike from the wavy rack, I was ready to ride off to the comic shop, and then to Wesley’s to continue our tabletop campaign. This was supposed to be the perfect day.
I made no sudden moves but tilted my head enough to see what was happening.
Behind me, buses lined up along the curb like big, yellow hedge in front of Jackson Middle School. Their engines rumbled as they loaded up with students. The scent of exhaust mingled with the fresh leaves from the dense trees next to me.
The new kid, Kyle, walked toward Bryant in a nearby grassy area. I let out a breath. Thank the Maker, Bryant wasn’t talking to me. If I was Kyle, I would’ve run. He was either stupid or had no idea what was coming.
This is just so adorable and endearing! Fun! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Good luck to you as well.
DeleteThis reminds me a little bit of Shusterman's The Shadow Club, and that's a good thing. I think whimsical works so well for MG novels. I wish you the best in the contest and beyond!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ryter!
DeleteLove the premise and the opening paragraph!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Athena. Good Luck Struck. (See what I did there?)
DeleteGood luck in the competition!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great premise! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Love the voice. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteLove your premise and the whole Bee thing. So cute. Great voice. Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the well wishes Ellen, Lindsey, Laura, and Annette. It was cool to come back to all the love after a long weekend.
ReplyDeleteReally fun idea. Good luck with it!
ReplyDeleteHi, Derrick
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderfully imagined, both in the story and in the first words. It balances zany fun with real issues perfectly. I'm already sucked into the story. Good luck!
Connie
Great voice! Good luck in the contest!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your query, I instantly thought Death Note. MG Death Note.
ReplyDeleteYour hook was great, and your stakes were clear throughout the query. I have a good sense of what the story is about and I want to read it. The weakest part of your letter was, I think, the second paragraph--when you told us how the Bee was created, that section felt very much like some information being handed to us rather than part of the build-up. But once you introduce the other student, it seemed to flow better/felt more put together.
In the 250, I loved your voice. It seemed a perfect fit and was very polished--already Pete is relatable/a character we care about.
Hope that helps!